All Stars Fall Read online

  Another reason to move to Seaside.

  To find my place.

  My destiny.

  Drew was quiet as he stared down at his fries, and then he leaned back in his chair again, reached for his beer and downed it to the last drop. “Well, at least now I know why.”

  “Why you’re lonely?” I asked, confused.

  “Nah.” He flashed me a smile that seemed almost disappointed. “Why he likes you so much, why he’s so protective of you.”

  “He barely knows me.” My mind flashed to the kiss, to the days spent with his kids getting to know him through them, dinners spent at his house. One week in, and I was ready to ask if I should just become their live-in nanny and pine after him for the rest of my life.

  If that wasn’t crazy, I wasn’t sure what was.

  “Maybe you should share more food with him,” Drew offered. “Wait, you’re already doing that. Don’t you make a killer pot roast?”

  “Very funny.” I tilted my head at him, my eyes searching his expression. “I’m trying to figure out your angle here, and I keep coming up empty.”

  “Maybe—” He gulped and licked his lips. “Maybe I just need a friend too.”

  “Lonely notices lonely,” I whispered.

  “Yeah,” was all he said before waving his hand to our waiter. We were at one of Seaside’s brewery joints, it had killer food but suddenly the few fries and conversation sat like a rock in my stomach.

  I once again felt like I didn’t fit.

  I wanted to.

  It would be easy to like someone like Drew.

  To fall for his easy smiles and smoldering eyes.

  But it was wrong.

  It felt wrong.

  And Trevor’s hands felt right, his mess felt right. All the way down to the ketchup stains and the crazy looks his kids gave me whenever I asked them to help with anything.

  “She did a number on him, you know.” Drew tossed a wad of cash on the table and stood. “His ex.”

  “Who abandons three kids?” I wondered out loud as we walked out of the restaurant, his hand on the small of my back. He had flat-out refused to let me meet him there, so I walked over to the passenger side of his Range Rover and waited.

  A few people held up their phones around us, but it wasn’t anything crazy. Then again, it wasn’t tourist season yet.

  I couldn’t even imagine what they dealt with during the summertime if they were walking down the streets with all the normal humans who didn’t have pretty tattoos and gorgeous faces.

  Drew opened my door for me and didn’t answer until we were in the car. And then he just shook his head and started the engine. “A very, very selfish person. And trust me when I say I know some of the worst. We’re from LA, it’s like the capital of consumerism and narcissists, but it’s—I don’t know, it’s worse than that. She actually made him believe she wanted that life, and the minute he gave her everything she wanted, it wasn’t enough. It’s like this switch flipped when she realized it wasn’t always going to be glamorous parties and Grammy awards.” Drew sighed. “The worst thing you can do when you’re famous…” He pulled up to a stoplight and turned his gaze toward me. “…is to date or marry someone in the same business, who feels the need to compete with you. I’d like to think they can’t help it, it’s a competitive business. But she had one or two hit movies, he’s had a career since he was thirteen that kept thriving. And he was willing to walk away from it when all she wanted was more, more, more.” The light turned green and he accelerated again. “The addiction isn’t in the first taste, Penelope, it’s in the justification that all you need is one, when you will always need more to replace what’s been consumed.”

  I stared at him slack-jawed.

  His lips turned up into a smile. “And the bad boy of the group just got deep. Sorry…sometimes I forget I’m supposed to be stupid.”

  I laughed at that. “You’re not stupid.”

  “No, I just like to hide my smarts behind my body, easier to get laid that way.”

  “There you are.” I laughed.

  He joined me, and then he was pulling up to my house. My tiny little beach house with the cute red door, painted white window boxes for flowers, and Jennifer standing in the middle of my lawn with her cell pressed to her ear and her hands in the air in frustration.

  I was renting from Jennifer and her family. Since it was close to the coffee shop, it just made sense. But she’d never actually visited me or stood on my lawn at night looking crazed.

  I got out of the SUV.

  Drew followed me. Of course he did.

  “Jennifer?”

  She turned and then held up a hand. “Well, fix it! I have a tenant!”

  She ended the call and gave me a frustrated look. “I’m so sorry, Penelope, one of the neighbors smelled smoke and called the fire department. There’s no fire, but the power outage earlier today apparently caused a whole bunch of craziness with the old wiring in the house. Old wiring that was supposed to be fixed last year. The electrical contractor claimed we had a few more years left, so we didn’t do anything and…” She looked ready to cry. “I’m so sorry, but it’s not safe right now. Is there any place you can stay for the next week or so?”

  “Um…” Panic set in. Well, it wasn’t actually setting in, I was already in full-fledged panic mode. I didn’t want to ruin Dani and Linc’s time here. Though I knew they had a huge beach house, I just hated imposing on anyone.

  Hated the idea that I’d be dependent again.

  That I wouldn’t fit.

  Why did I always feel like I was floating in limbo? Just waiting to be told this path, this one right here, take it!

  “I have a place,” Drew announced.

  I sent him a seething glare. “I’m not staying with you.”

  He burst out laughing. “Wasn’t offering, not really into girls who see too much. That’s why we get to be friends and I’m helping you hurry things along. Just call me your fairy fucking godmother!”

  I could have sworn my eye started to twitch.

  Jennifer gasped when she realized who he was, then dropped her phone onto the grass. Then she bent and scooped it up and asked for a selfie. Then she looked ready to burst into tears all at once.

  Yeah, yeah, Adrenaline bad boy, live and in the flesh.

  I grabbed my phone and took a picture of them before shoving it back into my pocket. “I’m almost afraid to ask.”

  “Come on, lonely one,” Drew winked. “Let’s grab your shit. I’ll give you a ride and we can figure out about getting your car later.”

  Jennifer sighed in relief. “I’m so glad you have friends here, Penelope. I’m so sorry! If you need a day or two to settle in—”

  “I’m good and don’t worry!” I smiled even though I still felt a bit sick to my stomach.

  By the time Drew and I had grabbed my two suitcases and the pillow I’d brought with me, I was exhausted and ready to go to sleep.

  “So where is this magical place you’re taking me?” I asked in a tired voice.

  Drew didn’t answer, and five minutes later, we pulled up to the giant beach house I visited every afternoon.

  “NO!” I shouted.

  “Yes.”

  “Drew!”

  “P-dog.” He winked. “Come on, he already said yes. I texted him. What’s the worst that could happen?” He leaned in and cupped my chin with his thumb and forefinger. “You stop being lonely? Get to know him better? He kisses you?”

  I must have made a face because he jerked back and then clapped twice. And hit the steering wheel in amusement. “That dirty dog.”

  “Please don’t say anything!”

  “Oh, don’t worry, I fully intend on telling the entire gang through our texting thread.” He held out his phone. “But never fear, I’ll just accuse him of it and then we’ll all pester him for the next two hours while he thinks of ways to kill us all. It’s a shit ton of fun.”

  “Guys are weird.”

  “We love the gossi
p.” He opened up his door. “Let’s do this.”

  I walked all the way up to the house like lead filled my legs, rolling my suitcases behind me. Meanwhile, Drew carried my pillow like he was on his way to his first sleepover, and when he knocked on the door he leaned against it like he was in some photo shoot and pulled Trevor in for a hug when he opened the door.

  They broke apart.

  Trevor looked ready to murder someone. Mainly Drew.

  And Drew gave me a “Don’t worry, I got this” look.

  I had a very solid inkling he didn’t “have” anything, but what could I even say?

  “So…” Drew started backing away. “I think that’s it. You kids have fun painting your toenails and braiding hair. If you need a third, you know where to find me, but I’m really only good at one thing at night. Isn’t that right, Penelope? Or should I call you—”

  “No more talking.” I wagged my finger at him.

  His face softened. I’d like to think he had the best intentions, just horrible execution when it came to doing good deeds.

  “Thanks for being my date tonight,” Drew said loud enough for the whole beach to hear him, and then he pulled me in for a hug and kissed my forehead, his lips slid down my cheek, and his whisper made me almost collapse against him. “Take it easy on him, baby steps.”

  I nodded.

  And then he was gone, and I was staring up into Trevor’s angry gaze, wondering if he would even let me into the house.

  I wasn’t sure how long we stayed like that.

  But Bella broke the silence by moving around him and running toward me. “I knew it, I just knew it!”

  “Knew what, sweetie?” I picked her up and twirled her around before drawing her close and kissing her nose.

  “That you were gonna be my new mommy.”

  I almost dropped her.

  Trevor’s eyes got so wide it looked like his head was ready to explode.

  “Oh, sweetie, no, that’s not…” Any time, Trevor, any time would be good, now would be good. “There’s a problem with my house, so your daddy is letting me stay in the guest room for the next week.”

  Her face fell, and then she lit up and whispered in my ear. “That’s okay, I’ll just keep wishing on the stars. After all…Daddy says every star eventually falls sooner or later.”

  Tears filled my eyes as I nodded and said, “Your daddy’s right.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Trevor

  I was going to murder Drew.

  But first, I had to rein in the complete devastation caused by Bella’s words. She needed a mom so bad, and I hated that there was a role that I as a father couldn’t fill, a hole she had that no matter how many times I tried, seemed to always exist.

  My chest felt tight, and the reheated pizza only made my stomach feel like a rock had settled on the bottom.

  “Bella.” I said her name softly. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

  “Yeah, but I heard Uncle Drew.” Her little face was beaming like a lighthouse on a dark night.

  “You and the rest of Seaside,” I said in a voice that severely lacked any amusement on my part. The breeze picked up, carrying Penny’s hair with it. Damn, she was pretty. It was like the more I got to know her, the prettier she became. What the hell was I going to do tomorrow morning? By the end of the week, I was going to need to walk around with my eyes closed and just pray I made it out the door alive. I let out a sigh. “Run up to your bed, and I’ll read you a story in a few minutes, all right?”

  “Can Penny read it?” Bella piped up, her eyes wide and excited at the opportunity to have someone other than her boring dad read to her. Fantastic. Maybe that was where my irritation was coming from. Penny wasn’t staying, this wasn’t a permanent thing. Sure, she would probably still help out if I asked, but I’d originally told her only until school started.

  How could I change that from a few weeks to forever?

  I was about to say no, mainly because I didn’t want my daughter getting so attached that it broke her heart when Penny no longer read her stories, but she was clinging so tightly to Penny’s neck, her little arms wrapped around it like a vise. And I realized that in another time, another life maybe, I would have been content to do the very same thing. “Yeah, baby, she can read it.”

  “Good! Thanks, Daddy. Come on, Penny!”

  Penelope’s eyes darted to me and then back to Bella before she flashed a wide smile that hit me like a punch to the gut. “Let’s do it.”

  I held my breath when she walked by because I knew if I didn’t, I’d get a whiff of intoxicating perfume with a hint of almond, and I’d do something stupid like kiss her again. Or maybe tell her that Drew was heavily medicated at all times and belonged in a mental hospital and that he peed the bed at night. He might never forgive me.

  A smile tugged at my lips. I could live with that.

  My chest felt tight as I watched them walk up the stairs, and then I leaned against the doorframe. Her bags were outside the door staring up at me, waiting for me to take them in, and all I kept thinking was that one day, those bags would be leaving, this wasn’t permanent. This was just…life.

  And life had been kicking me in the ass.

  One day those bags would leave.

  One day Penny would leave.

  Where did that leave us when she was gone?

  It wasn’t supposed to be this hard.

  She was supposed to be helping, not hindering, not making me feel things I hadn’t felt in…

  I frowned out at the distance, the salty air hanging heavy around me like the universe was waiting for my honesty, for my truth.

  I hadn’t felt that way about a woman in a long time.

  And if I was being completely honest, I’d stayed with Jo because she was my children’s mom. I hadn’t slept with her in who knew how long? Separate bedrooms, separate lives. For the last two years at least.

  A cold sweat broke out on my forehead as I grabbed Penny’s bags and brought them into the house then up the stairs to the mother-in-law suite.

  I walked by Eric’s room then Malcom’s. Both of them were sleeping, limbs hanging off the side of the bed ready to fall onto the floor in minutes. They were rowdy sleepers, which is why I didn’t typically let them in my bed, too many black eyes to count when they were three years old.

  “Goodnight Moon…” Penny finished, then kissed Bella on the top of her head while I saw movement in Eric’s room.

  How was it humanly possible to be sleeping that hard one minute, then snickering the next? Unbelievable.

  “Boys. Bed!” I yelled.

  “Sorry, Dad,” they muttered together like they were anything but sorry. Maybe I should let them share a room? I always thought that space was the way to go, but more and more Malcom was sneaking into Eric’s room and asking to stay.

  I let out a frustrated breath and glanced back into my daughter’s room as Penny pulled the covers up to Bella’s chin and then gave her another kiss on the forehead.

  Pain squeezed my chest so tightly, so effectively and efficiently that I had to look away.

  Penny shut the door with a quiet click and faced me.

  I wanted to torture myself with information about their date, even though I was pretty sure I knew exactly how good it had been for Drew.

  Bastard.

  “Drink?” I asked, apparently needing alcohol to have that sort of conversation with her.

  Why him?

  I mean, he was good looking, charismatic—okay, I needed to not go down that dark, depressing road. He was free. I wasn’t. Maybe deep down that was what she craved, to be someone’s world.

  Kinda hard to compete with that when I already had three running circles around me on a daily basis.

  “Yeah.” She frowned and then nodded toward the kitchen. “That actually sounds great. I’m not a huge beer drinker, though Drew tried to—”

  “Convince you?” I bet he did. Why did she have to catch Drew’s eye? Him of all people? Really?

&
nbsp; “It was okay but not my favorite. He kept ordering different kinds until I made him stop.”

  I smirked. “He likes it when people like what he likes, mainly because he’s an expert when it comes to himself. Narcissist and all that.”

  Penny scrunched up her nose and smiled. “Isn’t everyone like that, though? I mean narcissism aside, it’s nice to have similar interests.”

  We couldn’t be any more different if we tried. “Yeah I guess so. Which means if you don’t like gin and tonic…” I tried to lighten the mood.

  “Ahhhh, with lime?”

  “Always.” I winked and grabbed two glasses, then looked around for the limes only to find Penny already slicing them open for us.

  The woman was perfect.

  Damn it.

  I was killing Drew later.

  And shoving my drumsticks up his ass.

  Alcohol.

  I grabbed the bottle of Beefeater Gin and poured a generous amount in both cups, then grabbed ice while Penny grabbed the tonic water and started to pour.

  It was too damn easy with her, like she belonged in my house, my kitchen. Like making her a permanent fixture in my life wasn’t just a dream but destiny.

  I held up my glass, she held up hers. “Cheers.”

  She smiled and clinked hers against mine then took a long, slow sip that had me staring for an embarrassing amount of time at her neck and the way the liquid flowed down her perfect throat.

  Great, now I was obsessed with her throat.

  When had this happened?

  Seeing her with Drew had made me want to snap.

  Seeing him flirting with her made me want to commit a crime, and now I was drinking with three kids sleeping upstairs, all because I couldn’t calm my racing pulse. And if I was being really honest, I knew if I didn’t have something to hold in my hands, I’d reach for her.

  And I wasn’t sure anymore if that was what she wanted, not since the date. Besides, how did I even begin to explain that to the kids? I kiss her, I like her, yet she also works for us, but no, she’s not your mother…

  “So.” I cleared my throat and leaned against the countertop. “How’d the date go?”

  Penny smiled over her glass. “Probing a bit?”