All Stars Fall Read online

  And that was exactly what was happening.

  We were at Dani and Linc’s beach house, which just so happened to have Jaymeson and Pris right next door, and on the other side was a family recently moved in from Seattle.

  They had five kids under the age of seven.

  And they were having a birthday party with live reptiles, which meant all three of my kids disowned me and ran over to join.

  I exhaled probably for the first time in an hour and watched as one of Alec and Demetri’s security detail slowly made their way over to the group and stood.

  “You always keep him around?” I asked once Alec approached me. Tattoos lined his arms. He was a few years younger than me, but that meant shit in this industry. He and his brother had gone through a lot in the last few years. The fact that he was semi-unscathed was shocking.

  He took a sip of water. “Yeah well, ever since Ella turned two we’ve been hounded by enough photographers to land me in prison and since Nat’s pregnant again, I figured better safe than sorry, plus he’s all bark no bite.”

  I followed his gaze.

  The guy looked like he ate small children for breakfast. No smile. No hair. Enough muscles protruding from his body to look lethal. “Yeah, I guess I’ll take your word for it.”

  Eric decided to choose that moment to grab the iguana and shove it in his face.

  The security guy didn’t even flinch.

  “See?” Alec laughed. “He’ll take care of them, plus the property’s all gated. Enjoy the barbecue and the free time.”

  “Free time,” I repeated. “What’s that again?”

  “A unicorn I can never seem to trap.” Alec laughed just as his brother walked over with a shit-eating grin on his face. “I’m almost afraid to ask.”

  “Oh, you’re fine.” He turned his smirk on me. “You, on the other hand, are completely screwed.”

  “Now I’m afraid to ask,” I grumbled. “Don’t you have someone else to pester?”

  Demetri laughed, his dimples showing on both sides as his messy blond hair fell over his tan face. “Actually no, I’m all free. The wife is with the rest of the wives in the kitchen talking with HN.”

  “Hot Nanny,” Alec said helpfully in a low whisper.

  “Got that,” I said in a short voice. “Are you guys really that bored?”

  “Yes,” they said in unison.

  “You’re like the shiny new toy we get to make fun of and drown in the ocean, you’re welcome.” Demetri laughed just as Zane walked over, as promised, completely shirtless. The guy was labeled walking talking sex, and he oozed it everywhere he went—and often. Bastard.

  “Can someone get him a shirt?” I mumbled as Zane flashed me a cheeky grin and winked. “NOW?”

  “I’m good, Dad, thanks though.” Zane crossed his arms. “So, HN is here, I had my phone ready to record your expression, but the girls confiscated it the minute they saw me smile.”

  “Color me shocked,” Alec said dryly.

  Zane flipped him off. “All right.” He patted me on the back. “Remember, she’s the nanny, that means hands off, yeah? She’s teaching the next generation, under your protection, you’re paying her to—”

  “Holy shit,” I muttered as Penelope walked out the sliding glass door with wine in one hand.

  My mouth went completely dry.

  Her tan legs went on for miles.

  Her shorts were almost indecently short, or maybe it just felt indecent because I couldn’t stop staring at all the tan skin.

  Short, worn, brown cowboy boots added to the effect. Her white blouse was unbuttoned, revealing a teal swimsuit top, and a few necklaces danced between her breasts like they couldn’t help but move against her supple skin. And her hair…

  Down.

  Her hair was down.

  Under waves and waves of lush shots of brown, orange, and whiskey-colored strands—a smile peeked through at me, and then a small wave with her free hand.

  “Say it with me.” Zane wrapped an arm around me. “Off. Limits.”

  “Good, Zane.” Demetri laughed. “Just wave a flag in front of a bull, why don’t you? That’s the easiest way to get—ohhhhh…” He nodded. “I see what you’re doing. Carry on.”

  “Huh?” I looked back and forth between them. “What?”

  “It’s been too long.” This time it was Alec that piped up. “You need to move on.”

  “Thanks, Dr. Phil.” I gripped the beer bottle in my hand so tight I was surprised it didn’t break in half, and then Drew chose that moment to walk up to Penelope and wrap an arm around her. Something he said made her laugh.

  “She used to have a poster of us in her room,” I blurted. “She said Drew was her favorite.”

  “Glorious Day!” Zane burst out laughing. “Then I suggest you start practicing with those handy drumsticks, because he’s about one more joke away from touching a necklace and oh shit he’s good.”

  My eyes widened as Drew picked up one of her necklaces and leaned in, inches from her face. She laughed again.

  “I’ve never been so happy to be married,” Alec announced. “That guy’s lethal. No wonder the band broke up and Will got all pissed back in the day. He could charm the pants off a—”

  “Stop,” I said, gritting my teeth and running my hands through my hair.

  “Well, off you go!” Demetri slapped me on the ass just as Linc made his way over, hands up.

  “I saw nothing.”

  I flipped him off and passed Jaymeson as he manned the grill with Alec’s wife; they were arguing over a movie. The closer I got to them the more irritated I became.

  And I was in stunned disbelief that Drew would flirt with Penelope after my warning. What the hell was he thinking?

  “Hey.” My voice actually cracked. I inwardly punched myself in the dick and forced a cool smile. “Drew, Will just got here, he wanted to talk about some of the tracks.”

  Drew’s grin was slow, steady. “Oh, yeah? Shouldn’t you be there too? Since you’re producing our next album? Plus I thought I saw Ty walk in and there he is.” He waved our third bandmate over.

  Ty swaggered in our direction. In ways he reminded me of Zane. He hated clothes and loved women.

  All women.

  All the time.

  “Who’s this?” He winked down at Penelope and then reached for her hand.

  “DADDY!” Bella screamed.

  Moment shattered, I turned in the direction of her voice and sprinted. One of the giant lizards had somehow managed to crawl over her lap and trap her.

  The reptile handler was in the process of pulling the harmless creature away when I reached her side. The security guard tried helping her to her feet, which I assumed was the reason she began to scream “stranger danger nine-one-one.” Thanks, Penny.

  I pulled her into my arms and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Are you okay, baby?”

  “Yeah.” She sniffled as giant alligator tears ran down her puffy cheeks. “I gots scared and then Eric didn’t help me. Aren’t brothers supposed to help?”

  Eric was pale next to Malcom, who looked like he was ready to puke.

  The lizard had been huge; they were probably scared too.

  “That’s why you have a daddy,” I answered in a hoarse voice. “So that when your brothers get scared too, I’m here. I’ll always be here, all right?”

  “You keep me safe.” She sniffled again. “Right, Daddy?”

  God, my heart was breaking in half.

  How was I supposed to do this?

  Navigate this life? Keep them safe? From everything? From things that weren’t supposed to hurt them—like their own mother?

  “Of course he does,” came a familiar voice.

  And then Bella was reaching for Penelope, and I was letting my little girl go into her arms as she rocked her back and forth. “That’s what family does, we protect one another, we love one another, and when scary things happen, it’s not because your daddy lets them happen or your brothers, sometimes they j
ust…do, but that’s why it’s so important to be brave and strong, all right?”

  Bella nodded then put her sticky hands on Penelope’s cheeks. “Are you brave and strong, Penny?”

  I didn’t miss the tears in Penny’s eyes as she nodded and then slowly said, “I try very hard, but you know what makes me feel brave and strong?”

  Bella shook her head.

  “You.” They touched foreheads. “Because look! That lizard was like two of you! And you did the right thing. You yelled for your daddy. You only cried a little bit and now, now we can have cake, right?”

  “Cake!” Bella squeezed her neck.

  Penny let her down as all the kids started running toward the picnic table. It was only a few feet away from the fence to the backyard barbecue. All the kids gathered around the table singing, leaving me and Penny alone with the reptiles, a keeper, and a worried-looking security guard.

  I wasn’t sure why I did it.

  Maybe one day it would occur to me not to just act on impulse when it came to women.

  But I grabbed her hand.

  I squeezed it.

  I didn’t let go.

  And neither did she.

  I wasn’t sure how long we stood like that, hand in hand, watching the kids eat cake like it was the most interesting thing on the planet.

  But we did.

  Two adults.

  Two very different worlds.

  United by one very similar love.

  My children.

  Chapter Eleven

  Penelope

  The feel of his palm against mine would be forever imprinted on my mind. It wasn’t a normal hand holding.

  It felt…personal.

  Raw.

  It felt like something I never wanted to share with anyone else. Even the thought of talking about it out loud seemed to take away the specialness of it.

  We hadn’t talked about it.

  Bella had at one point looked over at us and smiled.

  And then Eric had promptly thrown cake at Malcom’s face, shattering the moment as Trevor sighed and went. “Looks like I’m up.”

  I helped him clean up Malcom and made my way back to the barbecue to grab a plate of food. Bella came with me and Eric trailed behind.

  “I hope he’s paying you overtime for this,” Drew said as he handed me a plate and then took Bella out of my arms and held her.

  I frowned. “Overtime? What are you talking about?”

  Drew gave me an odd look. He’d been telling me funny stories about Trevor and the rest of the band on the road, stories that made me greedy for more Trevor, which was basically the worst idea on the planet at this point. I was already getting too attached, wasn’t I?

  “Bella, why don’t you go sit next to Uncle Will and Aunt Angelica for a bit? You too, Malcom.” Drew said. They both sprinted in the opposite direction. I made sure they actually listened to him and then faced Drew in curiosity.

  “Look.” He licked his full lips. “It’s a good thing, what you’re doing for Trevor. I just don’t want him to take advantage of you.”

  “Take advantage,” I repeated, feeling almost embarrassed. “I like the kids, love them actually. I was a teacher. I’ve always loved kids, and he needs help. That’s all this is. Plus, I don’t really think about it as a job, you know?”

  His eyes widened. “You do realize they set their last nanny on fire?”

  I laughed.

  He joined in and shook his dark hair. “Yeah, you should get hazard pay.”

  “They’re harmless.” I shrugged as Malcom tripped over his own feet and face planted in his hot dog. It fell onto the grass, Will picked it up and dusted it off then made a face at Malcom, which I’m sure prevented Malcom from crying.

  “So harmless,” Drew echoed. “So, should we go out?”

  My smile dropped as I turned and frowned at him. “I’m sorry, what?”

  “On a date.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Food’s usually involved, intelligent conversation on both sides, possibly more on yours, since I like to hear your voice. What do you say?”

  “No,” Trevor’s voice answered for me. “She says no.”

  Drew gave him a murderous look. “No offense, man, but she’s the nanny, not your girlfriend.”

  I flinched.

  I hated that he was right.

  “Exactly,” Trevor said through clenched teeth. “My kids’ nanny, my employee, which means hands off.”

  “Funny.” Drew crossed his arms.

  “What?”

  “You should listen to yourself and then go take a long hard look in the mirror. Just because you can’t have her doesn’t mean you can keep her away from someone who could.” He smirked at both of us and then saluted Trevor with his middle finger and walked off toward Ty and Linc.

  “Sorry about that,” Trevor murmured. “He means well.”

  I turned and glared. “I get that you’re my boss, but that doesn’t mean you get to dictate what I do off the clock, right?”

  His eyes widened. “Yes. No. I mean—” He gulped. “He’s a player. He’s not good, not for you.”

  I pressed my lips together. “And that’s your call to make because…?”

  He stared me down, his eyes heated.

  I almost backed away.

  But I was frustrated.

  Frustrated that Drew was right.

  Frustrated that he saw right through it all.

  Frustrated that Trevor was the kind of guy who would stay in a perpetual state of sexual frustration before acting on anything.

  “I need a drink,” he finally muttered before leaving me standing there, alone and wondering where it all went wrong between the hand holding and the arguing.

  Stewing, I sat on the nearest chair, only to have Will plop right down next to me. How was this my life? That the lead singer, one of the most famous guys in the world, was suddenly sitting next to me eating potato chips and shooting the breeze. I mean, I’d been surrounded by a lot of these guys but this was next level.

  All of them were A list.

  Every last one.

  No B list allowed, it seemed.

  “So,” Will exhaled. “All I’m going to say is this, he feels everything.”

  “What?” I craned my neck.

  Will was wearing glasses, which just added to the GQ effect of his tight ripped jeans and black tank. He had bracelets wrapped around each wrist and a wedding ring on his left ring finger. It was the only part about him that looked domesticated. The guy had gone into hiding it seemed and then came back on the scene with his entire band spouting out Grammys like they’d never taken any time off, except to turn into men with muscles and killer smiles.

  The world wasn’t ready.

  I wasn’t ready.

  “Trevor.” Will leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. “He feels everything. Most musicians do. I swear none of us can even have a crush without falling so hard that it’s almost embarrassing. It’s all or nothing with us, we all grew up on the road, didn’t experience life the way normal people do. When we dated, it was almost always famous people who wanted something from us. Normal was crashing someone’s prom for a TV show, normal was finishing high school on a tour bus, normal was snorting cocaine before the show so we didn’t fall asleep on stage. What I’m saying is, he doesn’t react the same way a normal guy would because he’s not normal. None of us are, and if you think we are, then you’re lying to yourself. You’ve known Linc for a while, you’ve known Alec and Demetri just as long. You forget how famous they are because they’re like family. You’re in this little cocoon of Seaside or, what was it? Wyoming? Montana?”

  I made a face.

  He just laughed. “Walk down the street with him, just once. Not during the morning when everyone is still getting up, but at night, rush hour, watch the stares he gets, the pictures people ask to take. His life isn’t his own. And the sick part is that he’s right in the middle of one of the biggest divorce scandals to hit Hollywood, and you�
��re sitting there wondering why he can’t just step out on a ledge and do more than hold your hand—”

  “I wasn’t…” Shame washed over me. Because he was right.

  “All it takes is one picture of holding your hand and you’re in this, and he’s known you what? A few days? And you want him to do something stupid like ask you on a date? We aren’t all Drew.”

  I smiled at that. “Drew seems the most carefree.”

  “Because he’s in the most pain.” Will looked away. “I know we don’t know each other, I just didn’t want you to think it was you or that there was anything wrong with you. This is a legit not-you-but-him scenario. Do yourself a favor, all right?”

  “What?” I leaned forward.

  “Just be there for him. Watch the kids, make sure they don’t set you on fire like the last one, and be there for him. And if you like Drew, go out with Drew. Nobody’s stopping you.”

  “But Trevor said—”

  “Trevor’s still in love with his ex-wife,” Will said softly. “She’s the mother of his children, and it’s been a year. If you like Drew, go out with him. And let Trevor just…figure his shit out.”

  “So basically you’re explaining to me in the kindest way that you can—”

  “It won’t work, not right now, Penelope.”

  “You’re the oldest, aren’t you?” I smiled over at him. “Like the patriarch of the band?”

  “Patriarch makes me sound old. Do I really look that old?” He grinned.

  I burst out laughing. “No, if anything, it’s like you guys are aging backwards.”

  “Happens when you make a deal with a vampire.” He stood, and then leaned over and kissed me on the top of my head. “For what it’s worth, I think you’d be exactly what he needs.”

  “But?”

  “But.” He shrugged. “Timing’s a real bitch.”

  “Yeah,” I croaked.

  And locked eyes with Trevor as he took a swig of beer. He didn’t look away, just stared me down like he could see my soul.

  Seconds later, Drew was blocking my view of Trevor, and he was grinning like he already knew what I was going to say.

  “Let me guess, you changed your mind?” He tilted his head with a beautiful smile spreading across his face.