Enrage Page 19

  “Him?” I looked around. “But he left.”

  “Not him.” Nixon finally cracked a smile and nodded his head to Dante. “I meant him.” He crossed his arms. “So what will it be, Dante?”

  Dante didn’t as much as flinch.

  He opened his mouth and closed it.

  “I warned you,” Nixon said in a dangerously low voice. “I warned you what would happen, Dante. You knew she had to get the protection of one of our names, and now that Chris is out of the picture we’re shitty on any other option. Finding someone trustworthy takes time, finding someone single, someone who knows our business but promises to stay out of it? Do you realize the kind of favors I had to pull to get Chris’s family to accept the terms? He broke off a two-year engagement!” Nixon’s voice rose. “That’s the power behind my name. He gave up everything. And you rubbed his face in it. I expected it of you, I did, I just didn’t expect you to wait until he had to hear every fucking second of you doing it!”

  My body shook. A half hour ago, I’d never been happier to be in Dante’s arms. And now? Now I was questioning everything. Were they just pretty words? From a man who wanted everything he knew he couldn’t have?

  “I’m sorry.” Dante’s voice cracked.

  “Then do something about it,” Nixon shot back. “Every second she’s under our roof, she puts everyone in danger, every second she’s not aligned with us, she puts herself in danger. This is a war she won’t survive if we allow her to leave. And it’s a war we can’t win if she stays without our blood.”

  “Why?” I felt my body sway. “Why do they want me dead so bad? I never heard anything. Never saw anything.” My voice rose an octave. “I was a sex slave!”

  Nixon didn’t answer.

  Phoenix, however, did.

  “All we know…” Phoenix’s eyes, the way he looked through a person, it was like he was a walking nightmare, a walking reminder of what happened when you’ve seen so much evil that it’s become a part of you. Sometimes, Phoenix terrified me with one look more than Xavier did with one touch. “Is that they’re convinced that you’ve seen something, we just don’t know what. It has to do with your blood as much as it has to do with what your family did for the Petrovs.”

  I tried to keep my body language neutral. “Papa ran fights.”

  Phoenix’s eyebrows rose. “Oh?”

  “Yeah,” I frowned. “He ran underground fights for Petrov, and then one day he was just… killed. I was handed over to Xavier, end of story.”

  “Wrong.” Phoenix gave me the closest look of compassion I’d probably ever see on his face. “You don’t knock off a small-time bookie, El. It’s not worth the wasted bullet. You knock off informants, rats, loose ends. He was one of the three, and I bet my entire stack of dirty black folders that he may have been all three, it’s the only reason you were given to Xavier and not killed right away. He liked the package and you were the spoils of war.”

  Dante tensed next to me, like he just now realized the horrors that I’d seen at that man’s hand.

  “So, what now?” I shrugged. “I just walk out of here and wait for someone to shoot me?” My chest cracked. Dante still hadn’t spoken up. He was staring at his hands like they had the answer.

  When all I wanted him to do was react.

  It was like the monster was hibernating and the man was incapable of speech.

  “No.” He finally stood. “She’s not walking out of here, she’s not going anywhere.”

  I held my breath.

  “If there was a way out of this—” He glanced down at me, as tears filled my eyes. “I’d take it, not because I don’t want you every second of every day, but because I don’t know how to keep you safe from this world — and from me.”

  “Sometimes,” Nixon nodded to Phoenix who rapped his knuckles across the door, it opened, Tex walked in with a Bible. “We just have to trust that God will be just in allowing us a few years of happiness with those we love before they’re taken by disease, accident, war—” He shrugged. “Some of us aren’t that lucky, some are. Which is why we cling to every damn moment we get—”

  “And sleep with one eye open,” Tex said cheerfully.

  Dante’s face was one of pure torment, like he blamed himself for me having to marry him when all I wanted to do was shout yes and then slap him for being so stupid.

  How do you prove to a man that you trust them with every part of you? Even though you know he’ll most likely break every last piece of your heart without even knowing it? He wasn’t gentle, Dante. He wasn’t safe.

  But I knew, he was good.

  And in a world full of hate. Full of destruction.

  Good was all I had.

  I prayed love would follow.

  CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

  Dante

  I EXPECTED TO at least be given a warning.

  I expected to spend the next few nights in her arms, convincing her, convincing myself that I was a good enough man for her when I knew in my soul — I wasn’t.

  Nixon didn’t give either of us the luxury of getting used to the idea.

  Would she hate me?

  Would she resent me?

  When all I ever wanted was to take care of her?

  El suddenly stood, and faced me.

  I expected tears, confusion, anger, a hell of a lot of anger.

  Instead she unraveled the bandage still covering her arm and dropped it to the floor, then grabbed my hand and placed it over the almost healed wound.

  “Cut me.”

  “El, what are—”

  “He marked me, put his initial on me, right here. When you spilled my blood, you missed.”

  “What the hell do you mean when he spilled your blood?” Nixon roared.

  “I may have left out some pertinent details from you,” I snapped. “Chase knew.”

  “Oh well that makes everything better,” Tex said sarcastically.

  “Please,” El pleaded, her eyes filled with tears. “Take your knife, cover the X, make it go away, give me a new scar—” She swayed toward me. “Give me you.”

  “You don’t have to do this, El. We can get you a new tattoo.”

  “I’m not getting into a new marriage with his name still on my skin!” She yelled. “It has to be you!”

  The last time I cut her she thought I was trying to hurt her, to ask me to do it again, in front of others, to give her pain instead of pleasure right before we said our vows.

  I didn’t want to be humbled.

  It felt wrong to be honored.

  And yet, I was.

  I pulled out my knife.

  Nixon moved toward me.

  Tex stopped him, while Phoenix shook his head.

  The X was small, in the middle of her forearm, it looked like he’d etched his initial in her skin with a knife, the cut was jagged, deep.

  “He did this to you.” My hands shook.

  “Until the scar stayed,” she revealed.

  I didn’t warn her.

  Tensing wasn’t going to help any of us.

  Instead I ran the knife along the edge of the X letting it dig deep enough for her to start bleeding, and then I quickly curved the knife creating a half circle.

  When I pulled back, the X looked like a bloody D.

  And I wondered if that would be my legacy, if she would look down at her arm and hate me just like she hated him.

  Blood rolled down her arm, slowly dripping onto the hardwood floor.

  Tex stepped forward and placed the bible beneath our hands, but not before taking my knife and sliding it across my forearm and pushing our hands together, our blood mixed and slid drop by drop onto the Bible.

  He wiped it off, then opened it and began to speak.

  I couldn’t hear anything except for the own hammering of my heart as El watched me watch her.

  She barely blinked.

  Her lips trembled.

  I just wanted to kiss her pain away — soak up all the fear.

  And then it was over.
br />   Five minutes.

  That should have lasted a beautiful woman hours, days of celebration, picking out dresses and shoes, inviting friends and family — tasting cakes.

  It was done.

  I hung my head.

  Chris was right.

  She was marrying the wrong man.

  But that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to spend a lifetime trying to be the right one. Even if that meant I kept my blood-filled hands to myself.

  “You can kiss now,” Tex said.

  We leaned in at the same time, she sighed against my mouth. It should have been a sad kiss.

  A chaste kiss.

  It wasn’t.

  I couldn’t help myself.

  Holding her — knowing she was mine, knowing that mouth would never touch anyone else’s, I groaned, dipping my hands into her messy hair, only to have someone jerk me away.

  “Kind of how you got in this predicament, Dante.” Nixon cleared his throat.

  “Got carried away.” I cleared my throat.

  Tex winked over at me. “Happens to the best of us, trust me whenever I kiss Nixon’s sister I get a mini orgasm right near my d—”

  Nixon punched him in the stomach.

  Tex doubled over and coughed. “Worth it.”

  The guys walked out one by one, Phoenix stayed.

  Licking his lips, he looked between the two of us, then handed me an envelope. “I’m glad I was right.”

  I frowned down at the envelope. “What’s this?”

  “Take it.” He shrugged. “Think of it as a wedding present from the Nicolasi family — from your father. Go, have fun, I can buy you one day away from this Hell. And then, you’re back on Mil tracking, and you,” He nodded to El. “Are back at classes as if nothing ever happened.”

  “Something big’s going down this weekend.” I sighed and handed the envelope back. “I don’t think it’s smart to miss one day of school. Andrei may suspect something.”

  Phoenix seemed to think about this then shrugged. “I’ll force the professors to go on strike tomorrow, easy, they’ll have miraculously recovered by Friday. Anything else?”

  “You can do that?” El gasped.

  Phoenix snorted, a small smile played at his lips. “Sweetheart, I can do whatever the hell I want.”

  “Absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Tex poked his head back in. “And since I was eavesdropping, this means I get to help, right? It’s been too long since I’ve shot something.”

  “It was yesterday.” Phoenix stated slowly. “But yes, you can help.”

  I was uneasy about the entire thing. And maybe a little nervous not having anything else occupying my mind but El. Shit what if after being with just me, and not needing me for protection or my gun — what if she hated what she saw?

  “I don’t know, Phoenix.”

  “You’ll go.” His eyes flashed and then softened. “Shit, you’re going to make me say it, fine I’ll say it. You take that day together because I can’t promise you more, all right? I can’t control everyone and everything, and while I know something big is coming this weekend, none of us knows how big. So you’re going to take that fucking day, and you’re going to enjoy it, because it may be your last. Got it?”

  I jerked the envelope back. “Got it.”

  El let out a shaky breath.

  “Sorry,” Phoenix grumbled. “I’ve been working on my bed side manner.”

  “It shows,” I lied.

  He snorted out a laugh. “Yeah right. Go, enjoy, and take full advantage. Oh and, take his.”

  “His?” I repeated.

  “Your dad’s Rolls Royce, drove it over earlier, take it.”

  My jaw dropped.

  El squeezed my hand tighter.

  “There’s no bombs in it right?”

  “Course not,” Phoenix rolled his eyes. “Checked it myself.”

  “That’s not exactly comforting.”

  “Go,” he said again.

  This time I listened.

  CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

  El

  I’D NEVER SEEN a more beautiful car in my entire life. It had a little Just Married sign on the back of it.

  I’d taken ten minutes to pack a bag.

  And in that ten minutes, the poor car had been decorated, it had cans hanging off the end of it, and enough ribbon to make someone like Dante probably want to commit a violent act toward someone or something.

  I’d been married twice in my life.

  The first time, I was drugged so I’d say yes.

  I was raped by my own husband.

  Beat.

  Humiliated.

  But this time? This time, I’d said yes with a clear head, I’d kissed my husband because I wanted to.

  I didn’t need a fancy dress.

  I just needed him.

  Tears filled my eyes as the wives all gathered around the car and shrieked with excitement like it was the best day of their lives.

  “EL!” Trace yelled then charged toward me while Mo took my duffel bag, unzipped it and shoved a few small boxes inside. “Wear the red one.”

  “No!” Mo stood. “Wear the black.”

  “Why does it matter?” I asked.

  “We made bets.” Bee shrugged like it was normal, is that all this family did? Just bet on my relationship with Dante down to the color of, I opened up one of the boxes and flushed. Lingerie. On the color of lingerie. Great.

  I’d never worn anything so transparent.

  What if Dante hated it?

  What if he didn’t want to touch me?

  His hand was forced, even though he said he cared — did that mean that this fantasy between us — this pull would end?

  I didn’t have time to think more about it before I was scooped up by Tex and placed in the car. “Welcome to the family.” He kissed my right cheek. Frank followed, Nixon, Chase, and finally Phoenix. He shut the door behind him.

  I tried to calm my nerves when Dante got in on his side.

  And failed.

  He had no right to look so calm.

  So untouchable.

  Gorgeous.

  “You ready?” He was looking at everything but me.

  My heart sank. “Yeah, I guess, sure, yeah.”

  His lips twitched. “That was a hell of a lot of yeahs, El.”

  “Ignore me. It’s been a long day.” I reached for his hand.

  He took it and squeezed.

  Someone slammed the hood of the car.

  I jumped a foot as Tex gave Dante a middle finger salute.

  Dante hit the accelerator and pulled down the driveway.

  “So, what was in the envelope?”

  “Keys.” His jaw flexed. “An address, and…” He gulped. “And my mom’s diary.”

  CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

  Dante

  MY SLUGGISH BRAIN wasn’t processing anything past the fact that I was driving a car my dad had once driven.

  How often had he touched this steering wheel?

  Did he have someone drive him?

  What the hell kind of secrets was Phoenix keeping from me, if he had my father’s car this entire time and just randomly slaps me in the face with it.

  All those things ran through my mind right along with the fact that El hadn’t stopped shaking since the minute she sat inside it.

  My mood probably wasn’t helping matters. I was torn between wanting to pull over and kiss the hell out of her — or just getting an accident and doing it while driving.

  It was making me insane.

  Knowing she was mine, and not getting to taste her again and again and again.

  I muttered a curse under my breath as I waved through the thick Chicago traffic, only to find myself completely outside the city.

  Frowning, I followed the directions on my phone.

  And pulled down a little dirt road.

  “Are you sure this is right?” El asked.

  I shrugged. “I honestly have no clue, but,” I reached for my gun with my left hand and kept
driving. “Just in case.”

  Her eyes darted between the gun and my face. I could feel her watching my reactions to everything I was seeing.

  “I’ll keep you safe,” I promised.

  “I know.” She said it quickly with confidence I probably didn’t deserve, then again she’d seen me in action she knew how quickly I drew blood without thinking twice about it.

  I wonder if that made her feel better or worse.

  The dirt road seemed to go on forever.

  Until it finally made a small circle and brought us in front of a looming ranch house.

  Something about it felt familiar, but I had no idea why.

  It had a wraparound porch and looked like something you’d see in Wyoming or Montana or—

  I looked at the address again, the slip of paper Phoenix had given me, and turned it over.

  Nothing.

  Unsure if someone lived there or if we were about to get shot at, I pulled to my phone and called Phoenix, putting him on speakerphone,

  “I take it you made it to the house?” His tone was amused.

  “Right, what exactly is this house?”

  “It’s a house.”

  “Yup, got that,” I snapped, God maybe he was right, maybe I did need a day. “But why here? Is it some sort of safe house?”

  “It’s completely off grid,” Phoenix explained. “That’s how your father wanted it,” He hesitated. “When he built it for your mother.”

  “Come again?” I rasped.

  “It was her favorite place in the world — Frank’s ranch house in Wyoming. So, being the competitive dick Luca was, he decided that if she ever came back to Chicago, came back to this life, he’d have a replica waiting for her.” I couldn’t find words, didn’t know what to say, these people, they were strangers to me, people who gave me life but never walked me through it. People who loved as hard as they warred.

  “Dante, your father’s will — he deeded the house to you, for you to give your wife should you ever come back into the fold — one final gift, someplace safe for your family — something he never had.”

  “It’s ours?” El choked out then covered her mouth with her hand. “We have a house?”

  Phoenix chuckled. “Not just any house, El, you’re completely off grid, nobody knows it exists, just make sure to turn your GPS off your cell phones. We’ll see you tomorrow.”