Enrage Read online

  After really tasting her.

  Feeling her surrender in my arms.

  It would be physically impossible to stay away.

  And she deserved that.

  A clean break.

  For once I felt like I was doing the right thing.

  Val yawned behind her hand. “Whatever, I need coffee, you have class today?”

  She was wearing the tiniest shorts I’d ever seen and a tank top that barely covered her stomach.

  I glared at Sergio again.

  He smirked into his coffee.

  I kicked him under the table.

  He blocked my second kick.

  Val turned around.

  We broke apart like we hadn’t been fighting.

  “One more favor.” I stood. “Put me as far away from your guy’s room as humanly possible, I’m not even opposed to sleeping outside with noise canceling headphones on.”

  Sergio rolled his eyes. “Chin up, man, she’s not that loud.”

  I cupped my ears while Val shot Sergio an irritated look then smacked him on the back of the head.

  He let her.

  Then grinned up at me.

  I removed my hands. “We good? No more sex talk?”

  “Easy.” Sergio shrugged. “We don’t talk about it because we’re actually having it, unlike some people.”

  I growled out in frustration and reached for my keys. “Thanks for the… idea.”

  “Anytime.” He checked his watch then jerked his head toward the door. “Take Chase with you, he knows cars.”

  “Won’t he tell her I got a new car?”

  “Guess we’ll find out, won’t we?”

  “Damn mafia,” I grumbled as I walked out the door and made my way to Nixon’s Benz.

  It was nice.

  Like all of his cars.

  But it wasn’t me.

  I grinned in excitement.

  A year ago, I’d had no idea how much money I had to my name.

  And now that I knew — the millions that were left to Phoenix, and the millions Luca asked him to save for me and Val.

  It was humbling.

  And staggering.

  To think that while celebrities were hanging out in their private yachts thinking they were living the dream.

  I knew, I could buy ten of them, and still not feel it.

  The thought made me smile until I stopped and looked at the messenger bag still in Nixon’s car.

  El.

  Shit.

  What was money, when you had nobody to share it with?

  And suddenly car shopping felt very, very, stupid.

  “YOU’RE KIDDING, RIGHT?” Chase was still fighting me over my choice. “You said no to the Range Rover, no to the Benz, and said that the Bugatti looked like a space ship, there’s no hope for you man.”

  “I liked the G-Wagon.”

  He crossed his arms like he was upset that I picked out an SUV instead of the Maybach he’d basically licked ten minutes ago.

  “You know, you can get a new car, Chase,” I teased. “It’s not like you don’t have loads and loads of Abandonato money.”

  He flipped me off, then his smile fell. “No, I can’t.”

  “Why?”

  “Mil,” was all he said.

  I waited.

  He cursed and then kicked the front tire of the G wagon I was in the process of purchasing. “How much do you know about the De Langes?”

  “Enough to know that they’ve done anything and everything to rebuild their wealth and up until Mil, they were the most hated family in the Cosa Nostra.”

  “Still are,” Chase added. “She tried, I’d like to think she tried really hard to right all the wrongs — but you can’t create miracles without money. The only money she has is mine.”

  “You won’t give it to her?” I knew I was pushing, the conversation they’d had a few nights back was eerily similar to this.

  My thoughts went to the pantry.

  To El.

  Focus.

  “She won’t let me.”

  My head snapped in his direction. “If you have money to give her, millions in fact, why not take it and use it?”

  “She did.” He licked his lips. “At first, and then she just stopped, said that it made the men uneasy knowing that they owed the Abandonatos a favor… she wanted to do it all herself. It was commendable, is commendable. So I let her.”

  “When was this?”

  “We were in New York at the time searching for you and Val, nine months ago, give or take a few months. Does it matter?” Chase swallowed and looked down at the ground. “That the minute I said yes, the minute I agreed, I lost a part of the woman I loved to the world I hate.”

  “Shit.” I ran my hands through my hair. “Chase, this isn’t over.”

  “I know that.” He met my gaze. “Because I’m still alive, and so is she.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying that I have a bad feeling. I’m saying I don’t know what the fuck to do. I’m saying that if there’s any way—” He looked away. “I won’t tell her about your new car.”

  I closed my eyes.

  “I didn’t want this, Chase.”

  “Who does?” He said simply.

  “And if—”

  “Don’t tell me.”

  Our salesman, someone else that was in our pocket, walked toward me with paperwork.

  “I’m gonna go drive Nixon’s car home for you.”

  “Chase,” I called at him.

  He finally stopped walking and turned. “Yeah?”

  “You’re a good man.”

  “I wish I was better,” was all he said as he got into his car. Something had changed in his demeanor, like he was preparing for a war he knew he wouldn’t survive.

  Like he’d already accepted his fate.

  And wasn’t happy with it.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  El

  HE WAS GONE.

  The breakfast table was empty.

  I was barely able to choke down some cereal before I went back to my room and then hung my head as I walked through the shared bathroom and knocked on his door.

  The door creaked open.

  His bed was made.

  The lights were on.

  But he was missing.

  Tears filled my eyes. How could I have ever thought that this man in this room would be anything but incredible to me? Dangerous and good all wrapped up in one perfect package.

  My phone buzzed in my pocket.

  I knew who it would be.

  I didn’t want to look at the text.

  Didn’t want to see a stupid emoji from Chris for as long as I lived.

  Voices sounded in the hall, I hurried back into my room just in time for Trace to walk in with Bee.

  They both had babies on their hips, making the mafia family life look like a goal that was actually achievable. I’d always wanted kids.

  It’s why I was so attached to Xavier’s.

  I’d held them when they cried.

  Told them stories when they were afraid.

  A part of me still longed to hold them — but they were better off with a real family, not memories of the one they were in with me.

  Where we took turns getting beat.

  Where I did the best I could to take the beatings for them so they wouldn’t have to experience pain when you should only experience unconditional love.

  “Hey,” Bee’s bright smile was so opposite of Phoenix that it was weird. She looked like Tex in that moment, tall, commanding, and yet approachable. Her little boy was trying to pull her hair in a vain effort to get her attention. With a sigh, she handed him a fruit snack and kissed his head. “Mama’s talking, baby.”

  His eyes widened as he shoved the fruit snack in his mouth.

  “So,” Bee licked her lips and looked between me and Trace. “I was thinking we should hang out today, do something fun, get out of the house and leave the kids with the guys. Phoenix already said he’s down
for a dad play date with Nixon and I figured since you were—” She stopped herself. “Here, it could be fun, besides you probably leave soon with Chris, right?”

  At the sound of his name, I wanted to puke. I didn’t want Chris anywhere near me. Why had I thought I wanted him?

  His kiss paled in comparison to Dante.

  And now that Dante was gone.

  I choked back a sob and nodded my head. “Yeah, sure what did you guys have in mind?”

  “A movie!” Trace almost shouted and then frowned. “Sorry, we don’t usually go to the movies… so it’s always a big deal when we do.”

  It was my turn to frown. “Why don’t you guys go to movies?”

  “It’s a good place to get shot,” Bee said in a completely bored tone. “It’s dark, only one exit — you know that sort of thing, but Nixon very kindly bought out the entire theater for us and we’re bringing a few guys just in case.”

  My jaw dropped. “All of that for a movie?”

  “I’m really passionate about Ryan Reynolds.” Trace nodded her head solemnly. “We invited Mo and Val too, but Val might be too busy with Sergio so…”

  “Too busy?” I wondered aloud.

  Bee scrunched up her nose. “They’re still in that gross honeymoon stage where it’s their only purpose in life to christen every room in his ginormous house.” She snorted. “I almost feel bad for Dante having to witness all of that.”

  My head jerked up. “What? Why would he be witnessing that?”

  Bee pressed her lips together, her face guilty. “He’s staying over there for a few weeks… it’s been hard on him being away from his twin.”

  “Oh.” Rejection slammed into me swiftly, painfully. “I guess that makes sense.”

  He’d left me.

  And I had no idea why.

  No more nights where he held me while I slept.

  No more shared bathroom.

  Just. Gone.

  “So…” Trace propped the baby onto her other hip. “We doing this?”

  “Yeah.” I ran my hands through my hair and put it up in a quick ponytail. “Let me just grab my stuff.”

  “Great!” Trace said as she wandered out of my room.

  Bee stayed.

  Her eyes were sad.

  I hated that look.

  It held way too much pity.

  And it was all directed at me.

  “I’m married to the scariest of them all,” she said in a low voice. “I’m married to a man who tried to rape and murder one of my best friends.” She took one step, then two. “I sleep with a man who keeps not one, not two, but seven knives all within a foot of our bed.” She stopped when she was directly in front of my face, she matched me for height, her eyes filled with unshed tears. “And I wouldn’t change it for the world. If you sent me to suburbia I would lose my mind. If you told me to get a normal job where I wasn’t flanked by security all hours of the day, I’d be so bored I’d lose my ever-loving mind.” She huffed out a sigh. “This life is what you make it, El. I’m scared every day of my life. But sometimes I wonder if that’s what makes me feel alive. Living isn’t being shut in a small safe box where nobody and nothing can hurt you — living is feeling the pain and making every second count.”

  She walked away.

  I collapsed onto the bed and put my head in my hands, I didn’t even realize I was crying until someone handed me a tissue.

  I took it.

  Bee and Trace helped me to my feet and pulled me in for a hug, but not before Bee asked Trace if she packed her gun.

  It was a dangerous world for them.

  And they were some of the happiest people I’d ever met.

  I was the miserable one.

  And I wondered if that misery wouldn’t just increase the minute I left this house and stepped into Chris’s very safe, very boring, arms.

  CHAPTER FORTY

  Dante

  I FOLLOWED HER.

  Careful not to get too close as she ran around the city. She went grocery shopping, then she went to the bank.

  But she went inside.

  Hope she wasn’t about to rob something I would hate to explain that to Chase.

  When she walked out, she was shoving a pretty stacked envelope into her purse.

  Ten minutes later she was pulling in front of the airport.

  I waited.

  When she didn’t come back.

  I put on a baseball cap, walked in and searched around the ticket counter.

  She just, disappeared.

  I put in a call to Sergio.

  “Yeah?” He answered gruffly.

  I didn’t even want to know why he sounded out of breath.

  “Hey, look up Mil’s phone, what’s her GPS location?”

  “Hold on.” He sounded annoyed. “Aren’t you supposed to be tailing her right now?”

  “It’s past noon, stop having sex at odd hours, it makes it difficult to know when to come home if you’re screwing on the dinner table next to the pasta.”

  He swore and then the sound of typing filled the empty space of the phone. “You still there?”

  “Yup.” I pulled the brim of my hat down to shield my face.

  “Shit.” The typing got louder, moved faster. “She’s about ten thousand feet in the air.”

  “We have no idea where she’s going or if she’s coming back,” I muttered.

  “She’s coming back, she wouldn’t just leave Chase, I’m more concerned with the direction of the plane.”

  “Funny,” I sighed. “Because I’m more concerned about who owns whatever plane she’s on, because she sure as hell didn’t fly commercial, it’s only been fifteen minutes.”

  “Hell.” Sergio sounded exhausted. “Head home, I think I need to call Nixon.”

  I gripped the phone, my hand ached. “You sure that’s a good idea?”

  “Something’s going on, Dante. If this ends badly.” When this ends badly. “Nixon’s going to need to help us make sure Chase doesn’t do something stupid.”

  “Fine.” I licked my lips. “I’ll meet you at the house.”

  “Be ready.” Sergio sounded… not necessarily afraid but, like he was trying to warn me.

  “For what?” I hated my own curiosity.

  He hesitated like he wasn’t sure he wanted to tell me. “Ever since the baby he’s been distracted, you’ve seen him blow up maybe one or two times. This, this is going to destroy him, he and Chase, they’re more like brothers, they’re the closest out of all of us. So if Chase is hurting, I can guarantee you that Nixon’s going to be feeling that same pain, kind of like the whole twin thing. Nixon’s been the sleeping beast… everything revolves around his wife, as it should,” He quickly added. “We’ve been in a sort of peace for the last six months, this is going to blow that all out to hell, and Nixon, well Nixon isn’t just a boss, he’s got everyone and everything in his pocket he will bring this down and he’ll kill whoever stands in his way.”

  “You and Chase both need to work on you prep talks, can’t you lie? Just once? And say hey Dante, no big, just head to the house and we’ll all have wine and laugh about this?”

  Sergio laughed then, “Welcome to the mafia.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” I hung up and made my way back to my new car, the one bought with blood. I stared at it from the perfect rims to the shiny, glossy black paint.

  Did wars never end between families?

  Or did they just… regroup?

  Because it sure as hell felt like the world was crashing down on us again and the last time that happened.

  My father ended up dead.

  CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

  Dante

  GRAVEL CRUNCHED BENEATH my boots as I got out of my car and made my way into Sergio’s house.

  “In the kitchen,” Sergio yelled.

  I rounded the corner and stopped.

  Nixon was bracing the counter with his hands, every muscle in his body strained against his skin like it was just waiting for the go ahead to burst free. His h
ead jerked in my direction, cold blue eyes locked on mine. “Tell me everything.”

  I dropped my keys onto the counter and pulled out a chair next to Sergio, a bit surprised that Phoenix and Frank weren’t at least there to hear me out, then again, they probably knew every single detail thanks to Sergio.

  “I don’t know what she’s involved in,” I finally said after I gave him every detail I’d been able to find. “But I know if Chase is worried, if he suspects her of something, then we need to be ready.”

  Nixon slammed his hand onto the counter so hard one of the wine glasses tipped over and shattered. “Do we have access to the De Lange accounts?”

  Sergio whistled. “I can probably gain access but she knows if we suspect anything that’s the first place we’d look.”

  Nixon jutted his finger at me, “You’re her new shadow. When she lands, you follow her everywhere, got it?”

  I frowned. “What about school? What about the Russians?”

  “We’ve got a bigger problem than fucking with the Russians right now,” Nixon roared. “In our own family! If we’re broken from the inside, we’re finished!” He stalked toward me. “Understand this, I will kill Chase before I let him do something that he can’t take back. If killing him saves him from himself — I’d do it in a heartbeat and he’d want me to. He’s one of the best and he’s too involved to do shit. Which means, from here on out, you use your friendship to find out anything and everything you can.”

  I sucked in a breath. “Fine.”

  “Sergio,” Nixon reached into the back of his jeans, pulled out his gun and set it on the counter, it was pointed in my direction. I hoped it was by accident. “Keep hacking, keep digging.”

  “What about school?” I finally asked.

  “Looks suspicious if you stop going to class.” Nixon nodded slowly and then as if realization occurred he slammed his hands onto the counter again. “Shit!”

  I shrugged. “It also looks suspicious to have me work this hard to get into that little Russian gang only to suddenly lose interest.”

  “Can you handle all of it?” Nixon fired at me.

  “Do I have a choice?” I snapped right back.

  “No,” he finally said. “We’re rarely given the luxury of choices in this life, at least good ones.”

  Sergio eyed me and nodded once. “He can do it, I have complete faith.”