Enrage Page 15
Phoenix rubbed his chin with his hand. “You coming, Serg?”
“I’m not sure.” Sergio crossed his arms. “I mean how many times were you a dick to me over your sister? Interrupting things you had no business interrupting. Raising hell,” He laughed when Dante looked ready to charge him with a knife. “Yeah, yeah, I’m coming, but you owe me, Dante.”
“Make a list,” Dante snapped.
Sergio and Phoenix laughed and closed the door behind them.
Blanketing us in a tense silence.
Dante pinned me with another heady look before he jerked his chin at me. “Rule number one, no shirts in the ring.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Even for girls?”
His voice lowered as he grabbed a piece of the cotton material between his fingers and tugged. “Especially for girls.”
“How do I know you’re telling the truth? I mean these rules, are they written down somewhere?”
He tapped his head with one finger. “Locked up here, besides, why would I lie to you?”
“Why indeed?” I jerked the shirt over my head before I lost my nerve. At least I was wearing a black sports bra, it still left nothing to the imagination thanks to Victoria’s Secret and their new sports line.
Dante’s look swallowed me whole, like he was already envisioning tasting, taking.
“Any more rules?” I put my hands on my hips.
“Just one.” He approached until we were almost chest to chest, I could smell his sweat and had a sudden urge to run my hands down his chest, and see if they’d slide against his smooth skin. “No lies in the ring. You have to be able to trust who you spar with.”
I kept my expression guarded as I agreed with a quick. “Okay.”
“All right.” He was back to fight mode. “Show me what you go—”
I swung at his jaw, he stumbled back as my hit landed its mark.
His stunned expression was worth it as I charged again this time, landing a round house kick to his stomach before he could ask me who taught me how to fight.
“What the hell?” Dante hissed then stomped toward me.
Oh shit.
I blocked his next two punches before he landed one to my stomach, I flexed against it and tried to throw him over my shoulder.
But he was too big.
Too heavy.
Too good.
He laughed.
Actually laughed against my ear like I was tickling him.
I jerked free and tried to hit him again, this time he caught my right hand, my left, and when I tried to land a kick he gripped my ankle and jerked twisting me into the air until I landed with a huff on my side.
“You know exactly three different ways to surprise your assailant enough to get away.” He knelt next to me and grinned. “But you’re rusty.”
“Ouch.” I rubbed my stomach.
He didn’t apologize.
I would have been pissed if he did.
“Who taught you to fight?”
I shrugged. “Maybe I’m self-taught.”
“Bullshit.”
I sighed. “It’s… does it matter?”
He surveyed my stomach running his hands down where I knew I was going to bruise. “It matters to me.”
“Papa.” I cleared my throat. “My Grandpa was a boxer who loved a bit of Jiu Jitsu. He taught me before… everything.”
“Did you fight them?” Rage laced his tone. “Did you try to kill them before they took you?”
“I did.” I swallowed. “And so did my papa. He died trying to save me… I didn’t know it at the time, but he helped secure the fights for a lot of the Petrovs. He wasn’t what I would call a good man, but I loved him.” I blinked away a few tears.
“You don’t love things because their inherently good El, sometimes you just love people for who they are — for where they’re at. You don’t have to love actions, you can love the person despite what they do.”
“I loved him, despite what he did.” I left out the part where whenever I saw his face I thought of my dead parents as well.
“Do you blame him for getting taken by the Petrovs? Sold to Xavier for his own pleasure?”
“Twenty questions, huh?” I said nervously.
“It’s not like we have a lot of time, El.”
It made me sadder, made the tears fill my eyes faster than my papas own death. “It made me hate them. But I never blamed my papa for not being able to keep me safe — because I’d like to think that somehow, his memory is what helped keep me alive.”
“Sometimes memories are all we have.” Dante cupped my face.
“Yeah.” I gulped.
He leaned in.
I shouldn’t have met him halfway.
And when our lips were a breath apart.
He stopped.
“El.”
“Yeah.”
“Make this memory a good one.”
He crushed his mouth to mine.
And the first tear of many I would cry over Dante Nicolasi, fell.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Dante
EVERY SINGLE TIME I kissed her in my mind, it was frenzied, rushed, with barely restrained passion.
But now that it was a reality, now that my lips were tasting hers, now that our mouths were sealed with words we’d never trust the world around us to hear — I knew. I would rather die than rush each kiss she let me give her.
I reached for her ass lifting her onto my lap, she leaned up on her knees straddling my body against the dirty mat as I dove my fingers into her silky hair jerking just hard enough to gain access to her throat.
El let out a moan as she clenched my shoulders moving her body slowly against mine in every way I’d dreamed of since that first time we kissed.
Since the first time we locked eyes.
Since the first time she let me see her pain.
And I let her see mine.
You know you’ve found something undeniable when you can show the girl the monster and rather than run away she runs toward it and holds its hand.
I was the very thing she hated.
The very thing that represented death.
And still she returned each kiss with more pressure, and when my tongue slid into her mouth, she cried out against me like she’d been waiting her whole life for my taste.
I pleaded with my body — remember this.
Never forget.
Because I knew I would never have it again.
Her lips trembled when I ran my hands up her sides my fingers dancing along her skin.
Remember.
Remember.
I wrestled.
I warred with the need to take her.
And leave nothing for him.
Maybe I wasn’t a monster after all.
Because I couldn’t find it in me.
I lifted her off my body, easily laying her down next to me. “Let me see all of you.”
She gulped. “I’m not used to…” Red flared across her cheeks.
“El, I’d kill him for you. I’d make him suffer, but since someone’s already beat me to it — I’ll make them suffer, I’ll make Andrei suffer. I’ll kill them all. For you. I’ll make it hurt.”
Her full lips spread into a smile that pierced my heart, shattering it with its intensity.
Her smile could both start wars.
And end them.
“Please,” I urged. “Please let me give you this.”
She nodded a jerky nod but it was still a nod.
I reached for her jeans and slowly pulled them past her hips, knees, feet with each movement, each tug, my breathing slowed.
Those legs.
I could spend years worshipping her legs alone.
Kissing behind her knees, licking my way between her thighs until she screamed my name.
Until she knew what real pleasure was.
Not some prick getting off.
But love.
The kind of passion she was born for.
The
kind she would never get from Chris.
Me. Only me.
I focused totally on her as I dropped the jeans next to us fully aware that there were cameras, I turned my back so that security couldn’t see shit even if they wanted to.
I’d delete it in the morning.
Or maybe keep it and watch her face when I had nothing left of her except the memory of her taste on my lips.
She didn’t move to cover up anything as I followed through on my fantasy and leaned my face toward her hips. Inhaled and exhaled against her hips, and then very gently bit down on the lace of her underwear and slowly tugged it down her leg, watching her watch me the entire time.
Her chest rose and fell slowly.
Her eyes hooded as she clutched her hands into tight fists.
I released her underwear from my teeth and stared.
At every effortless piece of her.
“You’re more,” I said reverently.
“More,” she repeated in a whisper. “What do mean?”
Even now I could see the hesitation in her gaze, the fear that I was going to turn into him. She was used to being screwed.
No pleasure.
She expected men to have no control.
Control was all I had left to give her.
She’d already taken my heart.
“More,” I reached for her hand and kissed her fingertips one by one, then moved between her legs, resting my hands on her thighs. “You’re more beautiful than I could have possibly imagined, more tempting than I ever realized, you’re more in every way, El. Just. More.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I wish.”
“What?”
“That I could get looked at the way you look at me — every day.”
“You will,” I promised. “Even if you don’t see me, know that every night for the rest of my life, I’ll look at you just the way I am now — even if you can’t see me.”
She nodded, tears filled her eyes.
I wasn’t safe.
But a part of me hoped she’d still see the good.
Amidst all the bad.
I kissed her then.
Kissed her with the promises still fresh on my tongue.
Sealing them between us.
Something inside me mourned the loss of what could have been with the girl that should have been.
She wrapped her arms around my neck, her mouth pressed against mine, completely naked from the waist down, in only her bra and she still kissed me with abandon.
Women like her were made to be worshipped for hours.
I pulled away then kissed her again.
“Your kisses distract me,” I said aloud.
“Isn’t that the point?” She said sadly.
“No.” I lowered my head. “This is.”
My first taste of her would be cemented in my brain and etched in my soul for the rest of my existence.
Her hips bucked against my face. “I’ve never — this isn’t something—”
“No, he wouldn’t do this because he was a bastard who deserved death.” I stopped and glanced up at her. “I’m making up for it right now.”
“That’s not your job you know…”
Loving you has always been my job. I just didn’t know it.
More things left unsaid.
Her gaze didn’t leave mine as I leaned down my tongue invaded every tight inch of her. I drank her in as her body contracted around me, begged me for more with each touch of my tongue. I sucked deep.
“Don’t stop—” she cried. “Please don’t stop.”
“Never,” I rasped against her core as she dug her hands into my hair. “Could stay here forever…” Another swirl of my tongue. “Live here forever.”
“Yes.” Voice hoarse, she lifted to meet me again and again, I loved her with my mouth, played her with my tongue, tasted her like she was mine to taste.
A shudder wracked my body as she contracted around my tongue squeezing me tight, and I wished in that moment I would have done the shitty thing.
And filled her with me instead of only part of me.
Her muscles spasmed again, I sucked harder, reaching my fingers in to her most sensitive areas.
And set her free.
“Dante, Dante, Dante,” She clamped her legs around me, my name on her lips, the taste of her on mine. “I never knew.”
If it was possible for someone’s heart to break multiple times, mine would have.
“Good,” I whispered reverently, as her face lit up with a smile. “I’m glad it wasn’t him… but me.”
“Me too.” She reached for me just as I lowered my head to kiss her, our hands intertwined as she rocked me onto my back straddling me yet again, reaching for my belt.
“No.” I grabbed her eager hands. “I’m not taking that from you.”
“But—” her eyes clouded. “I don’t understand, don’t you…” She chewed her lower lip. “Don’t you want to?”
“Do I want to?” I repeated, then rubbed myself against those eager hands. “What do you think?”
She blushed again.
“You’re not mine.” I hated the way it killed the look of bliss on her face.
“Why does this feel like goodbye?”
Because it was.
Because he was coming back.
Because he’d already kissed her.
Because I had a feeling a war was coming, and I would do anything I could to keep her as far away from it as possible.
“Memories,” I reminded her. “Good memories.”
She swallowed and looked away as another tear fell. “The best.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
El
I WASN’T SURE he was going to hold me while I slept. My body was still buzzing from him. I’d never known that kind of feeling from anyone.
And the man who’d scared me the most when I first got to Chicago — was the one who gave it to me. Freely. Without asking for anything in return.
Fairy Tales had it all backward didn’t they?
Princes grew up in lives of privilege, they never wanted for anything or anyone.
Monsters grow up knowing exactly what everyone thinks of them and fight anyway.
Princes catch — and keep you for themselves.
Monsters capture — only to set you free.
I didn’t cry into my pillow when an hour passed and I didn’t feel Dante next to me.
Instead, I checked my phone and sighed when a message from Chris waited.
Can’t wait until this weekend! XO XO
I turned my phone on its screen so I wouldn’t see it anymore. And stared at the boring white walls.
What would life be like without Dante in it?
Boring.
Empty.
Safe.
The bed dipped.
“Dante.” My voice shook.
He pulled me against his chest and kissed the back of my head. “Sleep.”
“I thought you weren’t coming.”
“I wasn’t going to.”
“What changed your mind?”
“Not enough memories, El.” He tightened his hold on my body. “I needed just one more.”
“And sleep was one of them?”
“I’m not sleeping — not tonight. Tonight I’m going to hold you until you fall asleep so that when you’re gone, I’ll remember what it felt like to have you in my arms.”
“Safe.” Using the word with him felt right in so many ways.
“From your enemies, yes—” His mouth found my neck in a painful kiss. “But El, you will never be safe from me.”
I shivered. “And if I don’t want to be safe from you?”
He ran his hand down my arm and came into contact with my tattoo. “Ask me the question, El.”
“What question?” Confused, I turned to face him, glad that he let me.
His eyes flashed briefly. “The one that needs to be asked.”
“I don’t… I don’t understand.” What was he talking about?
&n
bsp; “Would I hurt you again?” He ran his hands down my bandaged arm. “If I had to.”
I gulped. “I know that answer.”
He gave me a disgusted look.
“Yes,” I said, voice weak. “You would.”
“So you see why you’d never be safe with me, not really, not doing what I have to do.”
“Yes.”
He shuddered then kissed my forehead. “Sleep, El.”
“You’ll be here when I open my eyes.”
He didn’t answer.
Just pulled me closer against his chest until I felt like we were one person, until the rhythmic cadence of his heart lulled me to sleep like a song.
And when I woke up.
He was gone.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Dante
“YOU SURE THIS is a good plan?” Sergio asked the next morning at breakfast. I’d gotten to their house at six am, early enough to talk with him before my sister woke up and late enough that I could spend the last few minutes of the morning in El’s bed.
“No.” I reached for my coffee. “But she can’t try with him if I’m constantly watching her, I’m still sparring with Chase on a regular basis, so I’ll be around enough to watch Mil and she’s so rarely home my time’s wasted watching her.”
“You need a car.” Sergio shrugged.
“You have twelve,” I snapped. “Literally.”
His lips twisted into a cruel smile. “Yeah well I’m attached to them. All of them. Use some of that Nicolasi money and buy yourself something nice…” he lifted a shoulder, shrugging. “One that Mil hasn’t seen before.”
Realization hit. “You know my covers blown if she finds out I’m the one tailing her.”
“She already suspects. She’s not stupid,” Sergio said. “You laid out your hand quite nicely according to Frank that is. At dinner.”
I groaned. “Chase left me no choice.”
“Chase is between a rock and a hard place. One that I pray no one I love ever has to be placed in,” Sergio snapped.
Val walked into the room and stilled. “Dante? Is everything okay?” She frowned when she saw a small duffel bag. “Body or clothes?”
“It’s alarming that you ask that.” I eyed Sergio like it was his fault. “And I’m just staying for a week or so.” Until El leaves forever.
Until the temptation to beg her to stay passes.
Sleeping next to her.